Why One Instruction at a Time Works Better for ADHD Teens (And How to Do It)

🎯 “Why can’t they just do what I asked?”

You asked them to “Go upstairs, grab your football kit, charge your phone, and pack your bag.”Thirty minutes later… they’re lying on the floor scrolling Instagram.

Sound familiar?

It’s not laziness or defiance. It’s executive function overload, and it’s one of the most misunderstood parts of parenting an ADHD teen.

🧠 Why Multi-Step Instructions Backfire with ADHD Teens

ADHD brains work differently, especially when it comes to:

• Working memory (holding instructions in mind)

• Sequencing (doing things in order)

• Processing speed (translating words into action fast enough)

Even if your teen looks capable, these behind-the-scenes struggles are real. When we pile on multiple tasks, they often:

• Forget what was said

• Get stuck on step one

• Or avoid the task entirely to reduce overwhelm

  
  

✅ The Fix: One Instruction at a Time

Instead of “Sort your homework, tidy your room, and take the bin out”  try:

“Start with your homework folder, let me know when that’s done.”

Then pause. Offer the next step only once the first is finished.

This builds momentum, not pressure, and gives their brain the clarity it needs to follow through.

🛠️ Real-World Examples for Teens

Here’s how to implement this with your adolescent:

🧑‍💻 After school

“First, plug in your iPad. Then we’ll talk through tomorrow’s schedule.”

🧺 Evening routine

“Put your dirty washing in the basket first. After that, you can chill.”

📱 When they’re distracted by their phone

“First, message your friend if you need to. Then let’s get your bag sorted for tomorrow.”

📓 Homework support

“Open your English book and write the title first. I’ll check in after that.”

These aren’t babyish, they’re brain-friendly.

🤝 Ask Them to Repeat It Back (Here’s Why)

Instead of “Did you hear me?”, try:

“Can you tell me what the first step was?”

Not to quiz them, but to support them. This:

• Reinforces memory

• Catches misunderstandings early

• Gives them a chance to clarify or ask for help

And yes, teens will roll their eyes at first! But over time, they’ll notice it works.

🧩 Why This Works for ADHD Teens

• Reduces overwhelm - one clear goal at a time

• Improves follow-through - no skipping steps

• Builds trust - fewer arguments, more success

• Teaches self-monitoring - they start chunking tasks on their own

You’re not lowering the bar - you’re building a bridge for them to be able to make it over.

📱 Resource of the Week

🧠 App Recommendation: Brili Routines

For teens who like visual reminders, Brili Routines helps break down big tasks into manageable chunks, using visual schedules, timers, and progress tracking.

👍 Why it’s teen-friendly:

• Offers independence without pressure

• Makes routines predictable but customisable

• Helps your teen learn how to self-initiate tasks (without you chasing them.

💬 Final Thought

Your ADHD teen isn’t ignoring you. Their brain just processes things differently. By offering one clear instruction at a time, you’re giving them something more powerful than discipline - you’re giving them structure, confidence, and a path forward.

📬 Want weekly parenting strategies like this in your inbox?👉 Join the ADHD Next Steps newsletter at adhdnextsteps.co.uk