Reflections, not resolutions

Why Reflection (Not Resolutions) Works Better for ADHD Teens

“New Year, new you” doesn’t really work when your brain is wired for now. For ADHD teens, the pressure to set big goals or stick to rigid resolutions can actually increase shame and frustration - especially if they’re already feeling burnt out by the end of term.

Instead, a gentle moment to look back - not forward - can be far more powerful.

Why This Matters for ADHD Brains

ADHD teens often struggle with time blindness, which means they find it hard to see the link between past actions and future outcomes. So when adults say, “What are your goals for next term?” or “What are your resolutions?”, it can feel irrelevant or even overwhelming.

But giving them a moment to pause and reflect on what just happened - the term they’ve just survived - is concrete. Real. Recent. And from that place, they can build self-awareness, confidence, and resilience.

Reflection helps ADHD teens:

• Notice their strengths and wins

• Spot patterns in what supports or stresses them

• Begin to make small, meaningful adjustments

• Feel seen and validated for the effort they’ve made — even if the results weren’t perfect

Try This: 3-Question End-of-Term Check-In

Instead of resolutions, try a short reflective ritual with your teen this week. It doesn’t need to be formal - you can chat during a walk, over hot chocolate, or on a shared car ride.

Here are three questions to ask:

1. What’s one thing you’re proud of from this term?

   → This builds self-esteem and highlights effort, not just results.

2. What was the hardest part of this term?

   → This creates space for honesty and emotional processing.

3. What helped you get through it?

   → This identifies coping strategies, people, or moments of growth.

No fixing. No judging. Just curiosity and connection.

What This Does (Without Pressure)

This kind of gentle check-in does more than you might expect:

• It reduces defensiveness — because it’s about listening, not correcting.

• It gives you insight into what actually matters to your teen.

• It opens the door to future planning without the pressure of “goals.”

• It sends a powerful message: I see how hard this was. And I’m proud of you.

For ADHD teens who hear a lot of “you need to try harder,” this kind of conversation is a game-changer. It builds a shared understanding that effort counts, emotions are valid, and you’re a team.

💡 Resource to Try

Free Download: I have made a downloadable worksheet to help with this. Sign up to my newsletter or pop me an email at hello@adhdnextsteps.co.uk and I will send it through to you!